Mon, May 11, 2009

It was so fun talking to y’all last night! It was weird to hear all your familiar voices (except for Andre’s and Brian’s voices…they were not familiar. Sister Denison and I were laughing about how our 13-14 year old brothers’ voices changed in only a few months 
This week was really cool. It started off discouraging because we didn’t really have anyone to teach. So we were knocking and trying to find people, but we were getting nothing. We spent a lot of time on our knees pleading with the Lord to help us find the people who were ready, but by the end of Thursday we had found no one. Sigh. We left on Friday morning with very high hopes because we were going to visit a girl who we taught a lesson to last week. The spirit was very strong and we thought there might be something there. When we went back to her apartment she was gone, but we met her boyfriend who was not too happy to see us and he let us know that she was not interested and that they had had a good laugh about us and then said, “I feel sorry for you.” Blah. That was the cherry on top of the last few weeks.
So we resumed knocking. No one wanted to listen and it was really hot. We met a guy who told us he wasn’t interested in our religion, but he offered us some water. So we chatted a while. He told us that he was an atheist and that he studied religion and philosophy and understood why society is in need of religion as a way to answer the empty feeling of not knowing why we’re here. He said that he wanted an answer to that question as well, but he didn’t need religion to fill that need because he was a more logical thinker. So I was interested to hear his logical approach to the question. “Well, I believe that we all came from nothing. In the beginning there was nothing and then there was a sudden burst of energy and something came into existence. And that something’s first thought was ‘What is this?’ and its second thought was ‘who am I?’” And then he explained that this something became aware that it was alone and an overwhelming anxiety erupted as the something tried to demolish the loneliness and from that anxiety came all of us who are continuing to develop until we reach a godlike state…so my purpose in tell you his philosophy is not to make fun of him, or to belittle his belief, but it is merely to point out that anyone’s guess about where we came from is as good as anybody else’s. That was supposed to be a rational/logical answer? The big-bang theory is a fantastical story and yet that is what some dispute as being rational/scientific/logical (and I’m not discounting it as a possibility) and then there are the religious people who say that there is a being somewhere in heaven who created it all, and thousands of other theories are swapped back and forth throughout the history of mankind. The point is we cannot prove any of these theories, and we can’t disprove them either. Anyone’s guess is as good as anyone else’s, but we did come from somewhere; there is an answer to this question (unless you want to dive into deeper philosophies that just tie you up in circles and then spit you out with the assumptions of eternity undone and no substance to profit). And we can know the answer to this question. I know there is a God. And how do I know it? Because I heard of this God from a prophet and I took it to study and prayer and after years of this I asked for an answer to the validity of the claim. The Spirit pierced through social/cultural barriers. He penetrated through language and personality constraints. The Spirit spoke to my soul and when the connection was made my heart was lit with brightness and hope and a piece of truth was remembered from my primeval memory. That man’s guess about our origin could very well be true he may just be using different words that I am used to, he not have been able to explain it in a way I understood, however, I don’t have to rely on this man’s word or my mission president’s word, or anyone else’s word including those of the prophets. I can verify everything with ultimate truth compliments of the Spirit which we have compliments of Jesus Christ.
Anyways, the rest of the day found us no one. We went home and had great hopes for the next day…And the next day was awesome!!!!!! We had two new investigators. One of which was the wife of an investigator we’ve been working with for several months. Yay!!!! Then we went knocking at this one place and nearly half the people we talked to listened to us and we got their phone numbers yadidahdidah. Yay!
Yesterday during church I had a very sweet experience. A woman in one of my wards has a very aggressive cancer and she is not expected to live past a few months. I’ve never met her because she’s very private and doesn’t really want visitors. But this Sunday is Mother’s Day and her I saw before the meeting this woman’s nine year old boy ran up to the primary president and exclaimed, “My mom’s coming today!” “Oh! Then you better sing extra loud,” She remarked. As the meeting began I realized that I was sitting behind this woman and her family. The primary kids performed some songs about mothers and of course they all were so cute on the stand. One girl belting louder than the rest of the choir, the sunbeams waving and looking around confused, the older boys wishing they weren’t there, and the happy smiling faces singing straight to their mothers. After it was over the children of this woman each took turns giving her a hug and then sat down for the rest of the meeting. I don’t remember what the next speaker said because I was focused on this woman. She wiped away a few tears and then lightly rested her head on her husband’s shoulder. Then she readjusted and wiped away a few more tears and clung tighter to her husband’s arm. And then I saw her and him together bow their heads as they softly cried together and I can only imagine they were wondering if this would be her last mother’s day. Well, then of course I started crying because I felt so sad for her. She loved her children, but her death was inevitable. She was going to die and not seem them mature. I felt sad for him. His strength; the love of his life would be departing soon. But I most especially cried for their children. I can’t really explain the pain I felt in their behalf and yet I was surprised by the joy I saw and felt as well. They truly loved each other and the reason her illness brought so much sorrow was because that family enjoyed so much love together. It was tragic and yet so sweet.
Have a fabulous week. I love you all! Thank you for your prayers and your letters!
Sister Alyse Johnson